March 2, 2021

I had the most bizarre thing happen to me the other day. 

I went to Target during my lunch hour because I wasn't feeling well enough to take my usual walk. As I was pushing my shopping cart through the parking lot after I’d checked out, the back of my right knee started to feel wet.

At first, I ignored this because I sometimes get the sensation of water sliding down my skin even when it’s perfectly dry. However, such sensations normally don't last very long. But when I still felt the wet sensation after unloading my cart, I decided I should check it out before I got into the driver’s seat. So I stuck my leg out behind me and looked down. And do you know what I found?

A big glob of bird poop on my black pants just above my knee.

I twisted and turned and even checked my reflection in the car windows, but didn’t find poop anywhere else on me.

Now, there were a lot more birds than usual in the parking lot that day. Usually, there are a bunch of crows and maybe a seagull or two. But these smaller black birds were in the trees making a lot of noise and also flying around the parking lot. I think they were starlings.

Painting of a starling sitting on a branch facing to the right

George Arents Collection, The New York Public Library. "Starling." The New York Public Library Digital Collections.

Anyway, I have no idea how it is physically possible for a bird to fly at such an angle that when it pooped, the blob caught the back of my knee at the precise moment that my leg was extended back far enough to catch it.

I couldn’t make this shit up. (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)

They say it’s rare to get hit by bird poop, but it’s happened to me before. Just not in such a bizarre spot.

So, of course, I decided to go and splurge that night on a lottery ticket. 

I’ll let you know if my run of bizarre luck turned me into a millionaire.

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}


Receive snippets-of-life stories, writing updates, sneak peeks, and other exclusive content such as The SSU/WAR Bonus Pack when you join the KierDevils newsletter.



I value your privacy and will never spam you.

You can unsubscribe at any time.  Privacy Policy